the truth about how cars run...

...according to Lara. 

We have a car. I use it daily to taxi the kids and myself to school, shops, friends' homes, church, family gatherings, etc. It was always a mystery to me as to how the thing somehow magically started moving everytime we got in, but thank goodness Lara has finally explained it to me. Listen very carefully, for she said this only once, and so will I. 

There are two Gnomes that are our devoted car slaves. Their names are Marjolijntje and Chrispus. Though Marjolijntje has a girly name and wears a red jacket and pink puffy pants, he is definitely a boy, just like Chrispus, who prefers wearing more sober colours like grey and red and black (a gnome obviously can't get away with not wearing any red at all). They are not like other 'regular' gnomes who live in a hollow tree, or under the ground. They simply wouldn't fit in one of those homes because they are quite big. Just like us humans, in fact. They also live in a regular house but with one small difference: they still enjoy using teeny tiny toilets. 

So here is what an average day looks like for Marjolijntje and Chrispus:

They get up bright and early (their pointy hat still on! A gnome never takes off his pointy hat.) and do their morning business on their miniscule toilets (I can only hope that their business is also adequately miniscule). Then they have breakfast. They eat only ice cream. Marjolijntje only likes strawberry flavoured ice cream, and Chrispus will only work for chocolate flavour. They have a favourite drink as well! For Marjolijntje it's carrot juice, and for good ol' Chrispus it's Coca Cola. 

After breakfast they put on their jackets, puffy pants and shoes, and head straight over to our home and take their places behind our car, quietly waiting for us to get in and be ready to leave. Once we are they do the one thing they were apparently truly made for doing: they run their socks off. They run and push us everywhere we need to go, no matter what the distance!

They don't ask for breaks often, but once in a while we have to stop at a gas station to get them a drink (again carrot juice and coca cola!). I pump these drinks into the car so they can suck it out whenever they need some extra energy. When we get home they sit and wait behind our car in case we have to go somewhere later. When they're certain we won't be going anywhere anymore they return to their home, have a much needed tiny toilet break, eat some more ice cream, get online to email their families, and go to bed. They never have a holiday. They don't want one. They love pushing us around.

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Moral of the story: Find out what your gnomes favourite eats are and always have some on hand... those guys work hard!

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Thank you Lara for this incredibly useful explanation of something that, until now, seemed so mysterious!
And thank you Marjolijntje and Chrispus. Seriously.