spring is like a perhaps hand

Spring is like a perhaps hand (which comes carefully out of Nowhere)arranging a window,into which people look(while people stare arranging and changing placing carefully there a strange thing and a known thing here)and changing everything carefully spring is like a perhaps Hand in a window (carefully to and fro moving New and Old things,while people stare carefully moving a perhaps fraction of flower here placing an inch of air there)and without breaking anything. - See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15407#sthash.4s5eKmfO.dpuf

 Spring is like a perhaps hand
(which comes carefully
out of Nowhere) arranging
a window, into which people look (while
people stare
arranging and changing placing
carefully there a strange
thing and a known thing here) and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps
Hand in a window
(carefully to
and from moving New and
Old things, while
people stare carefully
moving a perhaps
fraction of flower here placing
an inch of air there) and

without breaking anything.

E.E. Cummings

Spring is like a perhaps hand (which comes carefully out of Nowhere)arranging a window,into which people look(while people stare arranging and changing placing carefully there a strange thing and a known thing here)and changing everything carefully spring is like a perhaps Hand in a window (carefully to and fro moving New and Old things,while people stare carefully moving a perhaps fraction of flower here placing an inch of air there)and without breaking anything. - See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15407#sthash.4s5eKmfO.dpuf

Spring is like a perhaps hand (which comes carefully out of Nowhere)arranging a window,into which people look(while people stare arranging and changing placing carefully there a strange thing and a known thing here)and changing everything carefully spring is like a perhaps Hand in a window (carefully to and fro moving New and Old things,while people stare carefully moving a perhaps fraction of flower here placing an inch of air there)and without breaking anything. - See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15407#sthash.4s5eKmfO.dpuf

The temperatures are rising slowly but steadily, the crocuses have added bursts of color to our yard, babies are being born, and there are buds on the trees. I believe we can say that spring has sprung! When the mercury rose to a gorgeous 73 F yesterday it all went to my head and I went shopping for bathing suits. Today a cold front is blowing through northern Utah ushering me back into reality, bringing with it the slightly embarrassed relief that I was unsuccessful in my quest. When the lush outdoors starts beckoning like that you can bet your behind that the Koots are going to be feeling sunny in spite of the occasional windy and rainy day. We are making plans for summer, organizing the yard, pulling the tshirts to the front of our closets, optimistically storing the snow boots in the garage, and hiking the trails. Our most recent hiking endeavor took us up our own Birch Creek Trail, which starts just a block from our home.

what i learned...

from taking the girls out on a little winter location photo shoot:

• if you do not tell children to wear socks in their boots, they will not assume that 'going to take pictures in the snow' might mean cold feet.
• there is a reason a photographer is not also the make up artist - once you've finished primping and prepping your models, you have effectively also finished your energy reserves.
• freezing temperatures make for silly conditions to try and create a staged backdrop
• all piles of snow and bushes are created equal. We really did not need to walk that long to get to a good location for a nice wintery setting, in hindsight the backyard would have probably sufficed .
• I must never assume that my models will understand intricate directions such as 'don't put your foot in that fresh snow in front of you', or 'move your chin down just a little'. 
• Any photo shoot that involves children and lasts longer than 3.42 minutes, is too long.
• Late afternoon and snow all over makes for some stunning natural light bouncing around everywhere!
• the absolute best way to conclude a photo shoot with professional models such as these girls of mine, is by going for a warm brownie a la mode and a huge slice of cheesecake with strawberry topping.
• I have the most beautiful daughters in the world. Okay, I didn't exactly learn that while taking their photos last Saturday, but I was sure reminded of it. I love those two girls, mainly because they are even prettier on the inside.

And now for the results of all this education!

tripod

I really need to start remembering to bring my tripod on our adventures so I can actually be in some of these photos instead of being mysteriously absent from all family excursions!

a new year...

...and a very happy one thus far at that! Ok so, it's only been 23 hours since 2014 reared its head, but I don't think it's too early to say that I have a feeling this is going to be a darn good one. Not too early at all. We rang in the New Year with loved ones, some very intense games of Pictionary, appelflappen, sparklers, and even a loud and bright piece of firework that Sander was beyond thrilled to light. He was missing Holland an awful lot this new year's eve. Something that the Dutch radio station 3FM apparently picked up on, when they called him up and had him explain on the air what it was about Holland that made him homesick during new year's. Being on the radio lifted his spirits quite a bit, finding out he was pretty darn good at Scattergories brightened his mood further, and lighting his firework finally sealed the deal. For me it's different. I miss Holland a great deal but it hardly ever seems to overshadow the happiness of living here. And funnily enough that sentiment was the same when the tables were turned and I was perfectly content living in Holland whilst missing my family aplenty. I suspect growing up with ADD has taught me to live in the moment, since my brain often times simply couldn't handle the thought of tomorrow. Or that of 2 hours later for that matter! And remembering yesterday (or 2 hours ago, sigh) regularly seemed equally impossible. More importantly, if there is anything I know with total certainty, it's that when I make a change in life that I know God wants me to make only good will come of it, and I will have absolutely nothing to fear. So while I have plenty of blue days, rough moments, and temporary fits of blind rage (usually when someone finishes the Jell-O salad before I can get to it for a third helping), sadness over not living in Holland anymore is generally not the cause of these downs. We took a drive to Antelope Island today for our first activity of 2014, and that calm and content feeling was once again underscored there as I watched my children's cheeks grow rosy from the cold air and their faces smiley from their feet sinking into the snow so deep the insides of their boots got a little wet. We walked together, and marveled at the sheer magnificence that surrounds us so nearby. No, I am not melancholy this year.

I feel this new year will be the sunniest year yet.

p.s. Max isn't in any of the pictures because he has been a little sick the past couple of days so we figured it would be best if he wasn't subjected to the elements just yet. He's getting better every day though :)

disgustingly happy

Look, I don't mean to make you horrendously jealous but it is now 9:45am and I am sat on my front porch, in the warm sun, with my laptop on -surprise!- my lap. Max and Elliot have each mounted one of our many plastic, wheeled contraptions and are happily scooting around our cul-de-sac as I listen to their delighted squeals and the various birds singing my welcome to this day.

Life, as it turns out, is good!

I try to be wary of portraying our lives as a constant flow of smiles and rainbows because it's just not like that. Right now though, I am in the lucky position to be able to tell you that that is honestly how it is for us. Sure we have some worries and things that force us back into a more balanced thought of 'oh yeah, the world wasn't created with the sole purpose to bring the Koots happiness.' I mean, our basement got flooded the day after we put in new carpet. The guys who are placing a fence around our yard to keep our kiddies safe basically murdered our sprinkler system in 4 different places, costing us a significant extra amount of moulah. Our old health insurance company is trying to fine us for thousands of Euros because supposedly we weren't insured for a couple of months, while we have shown them over and over again that we were at that time completely insured here in the US. And on top of that we still really, really miss our beloved Holland and the wonderful people we left behind along with it. So I suppose there is plenty for us to worry about and feel stress over. I'm not sure whether it's the peace of knowing we are on the right track in life, or the beauty of our current surroundings, or the slowed pace of summer vacation. Most likely it's all of those elements combined that have been working towards us being possibly the happiest we have ever been. So again, sorry if this post is making you feel like puking, or perhaps like slowly and methodically torturing me until I'm a little less freakin' happy... but this is just how it is and I can't keep it to myself! Pictures are of some of the scenery found in our back yard. You know the one. That yard that is the most intimidating part of this house for me. That one that broke two lawn mowers since we moved in and took a full week of work to get into somewhat reasonable shape. Yeah, I guess it's also kind of pretty.

streetview

I got a little antsy one day last week. The girls were in school, the boys were in bed, and outside it appeared to be a beautiful day. So I grabbed my camera, threw on my coat and mittens, and went for a walk around the neighborhood. On that walk I smiled at strangers, encountered the frozen marsh of the Junior High baseball diamond, was barked at by Don Draper's dog, and took some pictures. I really have been taking pictures regularly, even though I haven't had very many to show. One reason I don't show many anymore is because my lens is all messed up and ruins just about every picture I take. This makes me incredibly sad. So here are some of the pictures I have been saving up, all taken around our new neighborhood, some even on our street. It's so beautiful around here. Quiet too, but not too quiet.

My mother painted that Dutch mailbox. People are serious about their mailboxes here! I have seen some very interesting ones. There is one that looks like a bomb, some people decorate their mailboxes to the different holidays (St. Patrick's Day is the current theme), and one has a curvy chain for a pole. I think I'd like to be a mailman someday. But first I need a nap.

the good, the iPad,

and the mountains. The mountains in Utah take my breath away, as I have lately been happily telling anyone who will listen. I have also been asking all kinds of people who have lived around these majestic natural occurrences for years and years, if it ever gets old. Could it be possible that there will come a day when I walk out the door, look up at their snow-covered tops, and think to myself '....'? I hope not. Every car ride is a pleasure thanks to the views. Views which, I might add, are ever changing in the different types of weather and times of day. On Tuesday night for instance, I made a discovery. As I was driving up the hill to attend a meeting in a house somewhere at the top of it, I looked up and saw that when you are going up that hill and the sky is clear, the moon peeks out over the edge near the top of the mountain, giving a sharp, eerily beautiful edge to its already impressive profile.

As for the good and the bad: Sander got his first paycheck and it was considerably more than we had hoped for, which was very, very good. Then I went to sit down on our bed (read: a mattress on the ground) and my knee hit our iPad that I had overlooked, and the screen made that horribly sickening cracking sound. So guess where the extra money is going?

Sunday Morning Special

It's not usual for me to be writing a blog post on a Sunday morning, and I most definitely will not be making a habit out of it. Sunday mornings are, quite literally, holy to me and I normally spend them at church. Unfortunately I am sick at the moment. Some weird fever hit me yesterday and is sticking around for reasons unknown. 

Lately church has become something of a challenge for me for a few reasons. First because we have moved out of our regular building because it needed renovation. Each Sunday we now meet in a local High School where we have to set everything up every Sunday again. It's not a very 'spiritual' place and the logistics of meeting there are awkward and not helping the reverence (something our ward wasn't too good at to begin with).  

Then I was asked to serve in the Primary (to work with the children for 2 hours each Sunday, on voluntary basis) and however much I love children, my first thought when I got this calling was "It's not enough that I have to deal with  my kids all week, I also have to deal with everyone else's on Sundays?". 'Unfortunately' I have a mother who has always set the example of willingness to accept most any calling she received, and I couldn't think of a solid reason to say no. 

Then something else occurred to me. 

 I love going to church. I go because I want to and so does my family. I've never made my husband go, he actually really wants to be there as well. Of course we make our children go sometimes because they are too young to stay home but if that becomes a real issue for them at some point I will encourage them to use their own free agency wisely and decide for themselves. Because my decision to go to church is so actively my own, I have to try to get out of what I can, and if there is one thing I have learned over and over again (regularly the hard way) it's that I always get more out of church when I adopt an attitude of reverence and service. I am there to grow spiritually and I can only do that when I am quietly serving the Lord and opening my heart to whatever he wants me to hear that day. When I spend my Sunday waiting for what others are going to do for me and my family, I am usually sorely disappointed. Mainly because with those expectations I won't even notice what people are actually doing for me, I am blinding myself with them. When I adopt a reverse attitude, the amount of love and joy that fills my heart is enough to last me the rest of the week. Also, when I go to church worrying about what others think of me, or judging the people around me for how they live their lives or act on Sundays, church simply becomes a burden. 

So I have been struggling with these things lately, but I am grateful that I at least have a comprehension of how to win the struggle. Perfection is far, far, far away from me and it's an uphill climb, but I'm getting there one step at a time.

I'm a little wary posting all of this. I know a lot of the people who read this are in no way religious, and I don't want to use this blog as a platform for my beliefs. Having said that, my faith is the cornerstone of my life and I would be a hypocrite to omit it entirely from this place. Also I like to think that anybody I consider a friend is someone who doesn't care about things like religious differences.

All images are by amazing photographer Akos Major. 

Have a lovely week everyone, I think I'll go lie down again now.

on cage fighters and frolicking

This weekend couldn't have been more awesome if a tub of butter had been added to it. Friday night I went to a movie with Liz (Green Hornet 3D, it was funny) and we sat and talked in the McD afterwards and felt slightly stalked by the dude who works at the American Bookstore. Saturday morning I was in Leiden with Ilona and we unexpectedly got to drink tea at Ribanna's house, for which we were grateful. That afternoon was spent frolicking in nature with Ken and drinking more tea, which was served by a cage fighter who kept eyeing Ken to make sure he finished his sammich. Ken says he didn't hear it but I swear I heard that scary man whispering 'love my huge sammich or suffer my wrath'. Upon returning home Sander and Liz were waiting to bake cookies and watch movies and on Sunday I slept all morning and clear through church. I also had a killer migraine, but I'm going to leave that bit out and selectively only remember the sleeping in. I also spent time knitting and watching my husband clean up (most favoritest activity ever) after having left him alone with the children all day on Saturday. Do I need to add any more reasons why this weekend was so great? I think not. So here are some pictures taken on the nature walk, and I bid you a happy Monday.