sorry Elliot...

Just found this little gem and thought it deserved sharing. This was taken a bit over a year ago in our previous home. We had set up an extra table to accommodate Christmas dinner and I remember so clearly how mad Elliot got at being refused a treat before dinner. He sat under that table and wailed for a good 15 minutes, hissing at any and all attempts at consolation. It angered him so much when I got the camera out and started snapping his priceless faces in a sliver of gorgeous afternoon light, instead of getting so frustrated at his hoopla and giving him the candy he so desired. I'd like to take this time to say sorry to him, and express my hope that one day he'll understand that when you have a little boy who is just so darn adorable even when he's having a conniption, sometimes the only available option is to immortalize the moment!

the detail, the squawk, and the slip-up

When you have kids you generally find out at some point that they talk. A lot. Of course they all have their own personalities in this regard, and each one goes through phases, but they are bound to hit a climax at some point where it seems like their mouths and vocal chords are in continuous motion. For instance, when Lara hit 5, she started relaying and explaining events and experiences to us. As she grew older she added things she had learned, theories she has about life, books she's read... etc. Lara's talking stems from an inherent need to be heard and validated, and an interest in that which is usually least interesting out of the endless list of 'everything interesting this world has to offer'. She is also our detailed child. Add to that an unfortunate tendency to trip over words, and you can imagine the amount of aural abuse those around her endure. Not that I perceive these things as negative mind you. I love that she notices and loves things not everyone else does, and I love the intelligence with which she approaches them.

Julia takes after her mother. Meaning that she will usually be too lost in her thoughts, dreams, memories, and over-stimulation of ideas/plans/responsibilities, to even begin to vocalize much of anything. I mean, she talks, sure. Just not a whole lot. And don't let any of that fool you; linguistically she does just fine. She simply chooses to squeak an elongated 'oookaaaaayyy' as a response to most questions. Actually it's more of a creaking. No, a skuawk. Yes that comes closest.

So then there is Max, whose vocabulary is quickly turning out to be our best source of laughter (and the reason I started writing this blog post). Laughter, and a sincere desire to invest in some top-of-the-line ear plugs. The kid simply never stops talking. Okay maybe when he's asleep, but I'll bet you that even then he is narrating every second of his dreams. His downfall is his whiny tone and need to repeat questions until he gets an answer he likes, which I am very, very careful not to give in to. But back to the laughter! Max has the rib-tickling ability to mispronounce words or phrases, turning them into some of the funniest things I have ever heard. So I thought I'd let you share in some of the giggles, and write down his best slip-ups. I'm going to see if you can figure out on your own what he's trying to say...

1. Booger King
2. Heavenly Phone Evening
3. Drunken Donuts
4. Martin Loser King Jr.

I feel like I should make a special apology to Dr. King, since my kids have not gotten his name right a single time since we moved here! He started out referred to as 'Junior Burger King'! Ah, I just had to stop typing for a minute because I was laughing so hard. Again! They never get old.

a new year...

...and a very happy one thus far at that! Ok so, it's only been 23 hours since 2014 reared its head, but I don't think it's too early to say that I have a feeling this is going to be a darn good one. Not too early at all. We rang in the New Year with loved ones, some very intense games of Pictionary, appelflappen, sparklers, and even a loud and bright piece of firework that Sander was beyond thrilled to light. He was missing Holland an awful lot this new year's eve. Something that the Dutch radio station 3FM apparently picked up on, when they called him up and had him explain on the air what it was about Holland that made him homesick during new year's. Being on the radio lifted his spirits quite a bit, finding out he was pretty darn good at Scattergories brightened his mood further, and lighting his firework finally sealed the deal. For me it's different. I miss Holland a great deal but it hardly ever seems to overshadow the happiness of living here. And funnily enough that sentiment was the same when the tables were turned and I was perfectly content living in Holland whilst missing my family aplenty. I suspect growing up with ADD has taught me to live in the moment, since my brain often times simply couldn't handle the thought of tomorrow. Or that of 2 hours later for that matter! And remembering yesterday (or 2 hours ago, sigh) regularly seemed equally impossible. More importantly, if there is anything I know with total certainty, it's that when I make a change in life that I know God wants me to make only good will come of it, and I will have absolutely nothing to fear. So while I have plenty of blue days, rough moments, and temporary fits of blind rage (usually when someone finishes the Jell-O salad before I can get to it for a third helping), sadness over not living in Holland anymore is generally not the cause of these downs. We took a drive to Antelope Island today for our first activity of 2014, and that calm and content feeling was once again underscored there as I watched my children's cheeks grow rosy from the cold air and their faces smiley from their feet sinking into the snow so deep the insides of their boots got a little wet. We walked together, and marveled at the sheer magnificence that surrounds us so nearby. No, I am not melancholy this year.

I feel this new year will be the sunniest year yet.

p.s. Max isn't in any of the pictures because he has been a little sick the past couple of days so we figured it would be best if he wasn't subjected to the elements just yet. He's getting better every day though :)

guess who...

Who is handsome and silly and obsessed with Lord of the Rings and gives amazing talks and turns 34 years old today?

THIS GUY!! Happy Birthday Sander!

so, San Francisco was pleasing

Once upon a scorching August my husband was sent to a nerd convention in San Fran, and I got to get on a plane all by myself and join him for the last few days of the adventure. Highlights? Why yes:

- I got to get on a plane all by myself.

- We found Indonesian food and ate it until our bellies could take no more.

- The hotel staff assumed I was a lady of the night.

- access to the hotel's executive breakfast suite.

- wandering around the breathtaking De Young and Legion of Honor museums.

- seeing friends we hadn't seen in a good number of years.

- finding a hidden beach near Davenport and getting salty water all over me.

- riding random buses by myself and getting lost.

So this might be a bit of an adjustment; there are no pictures of children attached to this post, and because I'm more of an art fanatic than I tend to let on on this here blog you had better brace yourself for lots of images of art I enjoyed at the aforementioned museums. 

More SF pictures to follow (and trust me when I say there's an abundance of more).

this child

The camera loves her! And it helps that I love her too. I took these shots of her the Sunday after her baptism, when she was ready to go to church in her special dress. The bishop had Jacob and Julia come and sit on the podium, so he could introduce them to the ward. They simply beamed! Of course then after her introduction when she came back to sit with us 'common folk', she was in a huff because we wouldn't let her do whatever she wanted (play on the iPad for the duration of the service). Yes folks, even after baptism, you're still human.

julia's milestone

Turning 8 is something special in our family. Our beliefs teach us that when children are 8 years old, they are considered old enough to be baptized, and Julia made it very clear that that is a choice she wanted to make! I am so happy she made this choice because I, through experience, know what a tremendous source of strength and peace baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost can be. Yesterday we celebrated Julia's baptism with family and friends, and a celebration it was. The service was so different from Lara's: only one other child - Jacob - was being baptized, and so we were able to coordinate directly with the other family to ensure we each took equal part in the service, and made it a personal and unforgettable experience for our them. We got lucky with the other family too, they were so easy going and helpful and friendly!

The kids looked radiant in their spotless white clothes. Julia's baptismal dress was the same one that Lara wore, handmade by my mother. Then after the baptismal ordinance itself I dried her off and she got to wear a beautiful white dress that my mother bought for all the girls in our family to wear if they want to. Julia's biggest worry was the water being cold, but that fear was quickly taken away when she dipped a toe into the font and found the water "sooooo nice and warm!!". Jacob's mother gave a talk about baptism, and afterwards Lara and Jacob's older brother Samuel sang a beautiful song. Then I got to speak on the Holy Ghost. The people who gave the prayers and the opening and closing hymns were all picked by Julia and Jacob, and aunt Marissa was sweet enough to accompany everything on the piano.

After the service and ordinances were done, we went back to our house for the after party (basically lots of food). Julia got to open some presents, and play with her siblings and cousins in the pool. After everyone had left I asked her if she'd had a good day. Her reply: "It was the best day ever!". A big thank you to everyone who helped make this day so great.

There is a soft spot in my heart for Julia. I recognize so much of myself in her. In part that makes me very proud, and excited to see all the things she will do, but often it makes me worry about the challenges I expect she will have to face in life. Because I know some of her weaknesses and challenges so personally, I am determined to give her as many tools as I possibly can to help her face and overcome each and every one. I know without a doubt that the best tool I can possibly show her is a strong relationship with her Heavenly Father. To have her realize that she is His daughter. That He loves her more, and better than I ever will be able to. That He is always there for her, to strengthen, comfort, and guide her every step through life.

things that need to be said about my sister

Today is Marissa's Birthday! Marissa is my 'little' sister - we are 22 months 

apart. I sometimes feel bad for her for having me as her older sister. I haven't exactly always been the most amazing example when it comes to making good 

decisions. Then there's also the fact that we found out pretty early on that we 

are two very, very different people. Especially when we were teenagers we found we had different tastes, opinions, attitudes, tempers, and priorities. I think 

on the major issues in life we saw eye to eye, but we simply had incredibly different ways of going about things. I am convinced that on many levels her 

ways were the better ways, and so she became a role model to me in times

I should have probably been one to her. I actually wrote a poem about us 

once that I've never shown anyone, called "Day and Night". In it she is very 

clearly the day, and I am represented by the night.

That said, I have so many fun and happy memories of growing up with Marissa! I remember so many times we would crawl into bed together despite having separate bedrooms, and talking/laughing/keeping each other company until we fell asleep. She would come and confide in me about boys (not many, mind you! I was the boy crazy one) and I loved hearing her stories and going over her questions with her. We would make music together - harmonizing, playing quatre-mains on the piano, performing pieces in church and (mostly) during family occasions. She is an incredibly talented musician and in my opinion never gives herself enough credit for it. I remember giving her makeovers and picking outfits for her. I was always so jealous of her gorgeous figure and beautiful long piano fingers!

When we were in South Carolina for a while, going to High School there, she was nothing short of my saving grace. I had such a rough time there and she was the only person I felt loved and accepted around. I know I made things extra hard on her during that time when she just wanted to experience new things and have me at her side, and I'll forever be sorry for that. But I am so grateful I had her then.

Then we grew up. I met Sander, and she instantly loved and accepted him as part of our family. Little by little we began to figure out that we were so much less different than we thought. That's when life decided to physically separate us, when we were finally coming together emotionally and spiritually. I got married and settled with Sander in The Hague, she went to school in Utah. I started having children, and she went on a mission. I had some more kids and became more rooted in our life in Holland, and she found love and settled, in the USA. We weren't around each other to see what kind of mothers we were, and be the support for each other I know we could have been had we been closer.

Despite that distance, or maybe thanks to that distance, we grew very close in heart. I came to miss my baby sister so very much. There were times when I felt so lonely and just wished and prayed that somehow I could have her around. There were times when I knew she was having difficult times and it frustrated me so much to know how much help and support I could be to her, but not be able to give it to her the way I wanted to. Then just over 1.5 years ago, we were finally brought together again, and that reunion has been such a tender and sweet one for me!

Marissa, our years apart have made me forget every single one of the things that make us different. I look at you now and see such a beautiful, strong woman. I am nothing but proud of you! You are my friend, as well as my sister. You are a truly fantastic mother to your children and I don't tell you often enough how much you teach me about motherhood. I can not even remember the last time we fought, and I know we'll be able to keep it that way. That makes so happy. I don't know if I can find the words needed to convey what you mean to me. Just know that I love you with all my heart, and I could never want for a better sister than you. Have a beautiful Birthday, you beautiful girl!